Happenings On Sandy Lane

Funny old world isn't it. I mean the way things work out. One minute you're off out for a walk and the next, you're contemplating a new home .......

Early Saturday morning and we're tramping up Sandy Lane, Belton. And everything's hunky dory: muddy and damp maybe, but agreeably mild.


Five minutes later and without a care or plan in the world, we're idling across Caldecott Golf Course, admiring the houses. And that's where we meet the builder: the kind of guy who could sell gas central heating to the devil. We chatted and before you could say Scandinavian lodge, we were being guided round the latest in high tech, low cost living.

Ten minutes in and Sue has the cheque book out ready to sign. The patio doors have been widened, the en-suite halved in size, a bike shed ordered and the South Beach styling agreed. It was only as Sue finished measuring up for curtains that I succeeded in dragging her from the building. As always I am rendered speechless in the face of such pure, unconfined and boundless enthusiasm.

In other surprise news, we also managed to have an enjoyable early morning walk.

Location:Yarmouth Road,Norwich,United Kingdom

Two Sides Of Beckham

I'd just like to announce, here and now that today's headline is a cheap, cheap shot. And that Posh and Becks make only a cameo appearance in this blog.

The truth is I'm writing about East and West Beckham, two forgettable villages on the outskirts of Sheringham. Did I just say forgettable? - well that was what I thought, having previously never been aware of their existence.

To fortify ourselves for what was certain to be a disastrous visit, Sue and I opted for an expensive breakfast at Byfords, Holt. Apparently Prince Charles, Camilla and the two young 'uns had been in just last week.


East Beckham at first glance was not encouraging, stretched out, as it was, on a long (and winding) road, like some sleepy cat. Sure it was quiet: witness a pair of super relaxed pheasants, smoking and chatting as we strolled past. Ironically, the only motorised vehicle to break the silence was a blue and white Tesco home delivery van.

After ten minutes I was reduced to reading the parish notice board: and by the way, I'm pleased to report there was no crime in the last quarter and two new village signs have been erected.

About to give up on EB, we spotted a Loke heading hillwards. And suddenly the game changed: ahead were six lovely cottages with views and beyond that a delightful woodland trail hugging the fields. Give me wifi and I'd have been more than happy to have my groceries delivered right there. At the very last moment East Beckham had thrown down the gauntlet.



Heading west, it was now game on. On paper West Beckham had it all: big barns, big cars, pretty cottages, a church and a pub. But what's this: the pub was only open Wednesday to Sunday; the council tenants were kept out of sight down the dip; the estate house was backing UKIP and his neighbour was flying the very large version of the St. George's flag. And all around was the regular Norfolk sound of rooks and gunshot.

Now I pass no judgement - I merely observe but I like to think that Posh and Becks, even with all their moolah, would have made the right decision and chosen East Beckham.

Location:Manor Gardens,Great Yarmouth,United Kingdom

Touring The Ormesby Delta

OK here's what happened. The weather was awful so the plan was to tour by car, taking in all those villages with the suffix, "by." Like Ormesby.

Seems the "by" bit comes from the Vikings and was used to denote the presence of a former farm/village. With that in mind, we set ourselves a challenge, to visit as many villages as possible and source some farm produce, all in two hours. Exciting eh?

Mautby was grey, green and brown and consisted of barns, farms and liquorice strips of road snaking across a wintery backdrop. Liked it. Scored eggs and a jar of quince jam.

Stokesby: more eggs. A pretty place with a number of houses for sale. Having seen the water level, I'm not surprised people were anxious to move.

Billockby: Apparently there were fourteen houses in the village back in 1900. No change there then. Nothing else to report but with such a great name who cares?

Clippesby: in 2011, a woman camping in the village died after being asphyxiated by barbecue fumes. This is still the big news.

Rollesby: must be some nice parts - it's just that we couldn't find them. However, picked up a cauliflower and established there was a car boot Sunday and a cross-stitch group Thursday.

Ormesby: a village green and a Spar grocery. Could it get any better? Stopped for petrol where I experienced the first urge to go home.



Hemsby: oh dear! Here things took a turn for the worse worse. Parked up between Katrina's (hairstylist) and the Internet cafe (boarded up). And look - another Spar grocery. In fact the whole town looked like it had been designed and built by Spar. Thought of the chorus to that Orange Juice song, "Rip it up and start again." Or maybe get the Vikings back to do the job. On the plus side, Sue managed to locate a home made flapjack.

Scratby: another great name and another place far beyond the reaches of WD40. Finally, overpowered by the stench from the garden/pet supplies centre I ordered Sue to drive me home.

Apologies to Filby, Ashby and Thrigby, for not visiting but by mid-afternoon my vital organs were starting to pack up.

And apologies to anyone I may have upset.

Location:Pottergate,Norwich,United Kingdom

Burlingham Woods Actually

Seriously is there some plan to keep all these good places a secret? I mean who knew you could follow a woodland route, through five different forests, taking in Burlingham Green, Lingwood, Hemblington, South Walsham and Acle. I hadn't a clue.

Well it almost didn't happen. One moment we were crossing the Haven Bridge in sunshine and the next we were aquaplaning up the A47. In fact, I felt like one of those storm chasers as we headed towards the heart of an all-consuming darkness.

Unsurprisingly the car park at Saint Andrews church was empty. Let's face it you'd have to be stone cold mental to contemplate a walk in such conditions?



The walk when we started half an hour later was interesting. A mystery path took us through a section of forest decorated with masks and strange totem poles: quite disturbing in the pervasive half light. And then the wind kicked off, and then the lightning joined in. Exhilarating .... certainly. Sensible ..... maybe not.

Well we pushed on regardless, determined to kick s#*! out of the elements. My main fear was not the weather but the sole-sucking, mud-sliding paths we were trying to negotiate. Visualise if you will, a hog on ice. One slip and I'd have been mud-coated. One slip and this would have been a cracking blog.



Sure we got wet but hey, we were out doing stuff. We were right there communing with nature. I mean what else you gonna do on a wet day immediately post New Year? Yes I suppose we could have watched, "Love Actually" while drinking tea and finishing the Christmas cake. Mmmmm ..... strokes chin and considers.

But I tell you what. Even in these conditions Burlingham kicked Hugh Grant's butt.

Location:Manor Gardens,Great Yarmouth,United Kingdom