Pilson Green Declared Safe

Today's trip out was very much a last minute thing. Looking at a map and googling stuff, I picked out Pilson Green in South Walsham and that's when the fun started. The first hit listed Pilson Green as a "chav town" with high levels of anti-social behaviour. What! The second hit was for a windmill and the third said, and I quote, "our missing person tracing process in Pilson Green has helped locate thousands of people over the years..."

Well, I'm sorry I simply don't believe it. And what's more I was going there to prove it.



Taking no chances, I set off that afternoon with a stab vest and sun glasses. Five minutes on and I was driving the Acle Strait, with thunder rumbling overhead, like a Stranglers' bass line. Another two minutes and I was driving in the rain and more worryingly the dark. It was 2.20.

A lucky break in the cloud enabled me to see again and park up by the pond on the Green. Nervous about chavs and the weather I strode off down Fleet Lane to explore. Obviously this was a popular route, because there was a visitors' centre, enterprisingly housed in a telephone box. Less to vandalise I guess. Down the far end of the lane were lots of posh houses, all with names like "Broadview" and "Riverview."They also had high fences, so in reality you got f*** all view.

Now I'd only come expecting to see a pond and the accompanying low life, so stumbling across a five mile riverside walk was something of a bonus. At one point, in a scene straight out of "Great Expectations" I stood alone on a bend in the river, with a panorama across the marshes, straining my eyes as I looked for runaways - but nothing. Sadly the rain curtailed my walk but the outing was a useful reminder that you don't have to always travel to North Norfolk. The good news is that it's all here ... and close by.


And more good news: at no point in the afternoon was anybody stabbed; nobody offered me drugs on the tow path; and in the entire history of East Anglia I doubt whether anyone has been abducted while feeding ducks at the pond. With that knowledge I declare Pilson Green safe for visitors.

Location:Manor Gardens,Hopton on Sea,United Kingdom